White Women Looking To Marry Black Men
❤️ Click here: Am looking for a wife to marry
If I must die while I am still single, I will have frustrating and lonely moments in life, but I will have faith that it was not without reason! Heaven will not do unto men what they can do for themselves!
I enjoyed reading this article. Another one makes you rested and confident. I am not moving to be ther VA, so me and my son can be homeless for a man who does not even act like a real husband, God does give us a brain and we are to use it accordingly correct?
White Women Looking To Marry Black Men - Men should be the leaders during the courtship process and should also keep dating alive during marriage. These are practical, everyday, biblical tools that EVERYONE can benefit from, even if they are just a gentle reminder to people who live them day to day.
By on November 1, 2013 in Recently, my wife posted , which has received many comments from readers wondering what the wife list looks like. Sometimes we just have to learn the hard way. Earlier this week, I wrote the article about keeping you visually focused on your dreams. Should we be specific about the woman we want to marry? However, make a list with long-term vision. They are characteristics of a woman we want for one night. When you find her, she is more valuable than anything. Here are 10 qualities of good future wife material: 1. Your potential wife should share common beliefs with you. She makes you a better man If everyday is hell with her, that should be a red flag. Your potential wife should elevate you to Yourself 2. You can get a good idea from your friends and family. Do they say you act differently in a bad way when you are around her? Not a good sign. She should bring out the best in you, not bring out heartache and frayed nerves. She has ambition She should have strength in character and carry herself with confidence. She should have plans too. In fact, she should be a hard worker just like you. One of my friends is a stay-at-home wife with three kids, and she works harder than any of my friends with careers. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. If you start dating her, much less marry her, you will discover why soon enough. Some questions to ask yourself: Does she care about causes? Does she go out and volunteer? Does she give change to the needy or buy them a meal? These are important characteristics to consider. Personality plays into attractiveness big-time. She should be wise, smart, and give you good advice. I look to my wife all the time for advice. Does she flake all of the time? She should already do a good job of managing her own life. Ultimately, she will have some part in your financial well-being, and guess what? Finances remain one of the leading causes of divorce. Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person. When it comes down to it, you know what you can handle. Love can overwrite any of the qualities above, but having these qualities will certainly make your lives easier once you are married. Even with this list, both of you are still going to bring some kind of baggage into the relationship. First start with yourself. Check a few boxes off. Make sure premarital counseling is a huge priority once you find her. My wife and I did a relationship bootcamp in addition to premarital counseling. Throw everything but the kitchen sink at the most important decision you will ever make. I loved this Kris! Divorce is taken so lightly in this present day. Hosea married a prostitute… And yet despite her cheating and unfaithfulness, he remained faithful to her. Yes, yes, and so many more! And yet, He did honor it. To say some commitments are not worth honoring is to miss one key thing that Kris wants us to see… Before you get married, throw everything into your premarital counseling because that is the time when you will realize whether or not you will have a relationship in which you can honor or you will struggle to honor. Quite obviously, there are some things that permit divorce abuse etc , however for the majority, in the beginning it was not meant to be. Check out Mark 10 especially vs 5. Adultery is indeed a biblical reason for divorce,. That being said, you should try everything possible before resorting to that. I run divorce intervention classes. There I discovered the need to begin and end every gathering with definitions of or challenges to have the right kind of commitment. I think you nailed some of the key ideas and liked it so much that I decided to reply without reading more comments. He trains, learns and sacrifices all that he has and all that he is for what? To give it all away on behalf of his team and his country. He is loyal to his team members to the point of torture, capture, or death even if the team member does not uphold the code. He remains loyal until his commander removes that person from the team. He does whatever it takes to get that team member back on board. Subteams, like sniper units, go even deeper. If you are a sniper, you cannot afford to give up on your spotter, no matter how despicable he-she becomes. You are mates until the commander takes them away from you. Chaca Zoulou, you do realize this is a blog run by a Christian couple, right? But Christianity teaches that God descended into his creation and became a man Jesus , precisely so he could be like us. He showed us how to live. Jesus could not handle a wife. I like jesus fine. Mohammad comes closer but his rules for women are egregiously disciplinarian at least as practiced. And Krishna subdued KALI… go back to ISIS or Astarte? Actually the allowed to divorce for infidelity was to be for habitual infidelity. If your spouse cheats on you comes to you admits it and repents. You may have the right to leave but I would strongly encourage you if you can stay get counseling and try to make the successful. I think its important to remember these are reminders for what to look for, not a list to judge our spouses by once we commit. Communication and forgiveness not keeping accounts are two of the great keys to a successful marriage. Well, that and not marrying someone nuts! God Bless this site…. I am from another culture and I married an American girl. It sucks because we are both Christians but she hates going to church with me because she says I stare at other women who are from my culture or look like it. Bad mistake I made! Whether you are Christian, Muslim, or Jewish, we all have some version of the Old Testament. In several chapters, it was considered wrong for a man to marry a Gentile, or someone who did not believe the same. This was simply because these women would turn the man away from his belief in God and introduce him to a life of sin. I can tell you these 2 tools made all of the difference in the world to my husband and my relationship. These are practical, everyday, biblical tools that EVERYONE can benefit from, even if they are just a gentle reminder to people who live them day to day. Some of those things are more about what a woman needs in a man such as security and protection men so not need that from a woman. A man dies need his woman to believe in him to be all he can be. A woman is more apt to be all she can be because she is self motivated. Additionally, couples which conform to traditional stereotypes of leadership tend to have much more sex which is considered indicative of a healthy marriage. Of course those are just statistics and if you find a man who is beyond average, why not? Too bad everyone thinks their man is beyond average though… statistics? What are your sources then? Healthy relationships are equally dependent and mutually independent. Enough of this gender who should wear the pants crap. Some days he needs me to be the leader and other days I need him to guide me. It is a partnership, not a marriage rooted in who is in charge or not. Erica, I agree with you in regards to equality in a marriage entirely! Too many guys are losses with drive and, thus, get little respect. And without respect, a relationship is not healthy on either end. Ephesians 5:23 and the surrounding verses talk about the roles of each partner in a relationship. It is an equal partnership, but even in an equal business partnership, each partner has different roles. If God made a point to instruct us in this way, we can only trust that it is in our best interest. I believe there is a level of equality to be had, but I personally tend to hold a more traditional view of marriage and want my husband to be the leader. At the same time I need him to respect my advice when I offer it. A true partnership is a give and take, he should listen to my advice and I should listen to his. Also, I have to wonder if that sex is any good, you know, for the woman. Any relationship should be an equal partnership. The last couple of years he has stayed home with the children while I worked. They love him dearly and he is so much more patient with them than I could ever be. We both have areas of life we excel in; for example, I make our monthly budget and do anything that needs to be done online I am better with computers , and he checks out the engine when our car sounds funny, cooks meat without burning it like I would :p , and drives when the roads are slick. Every person is different and every couple regardless of religiosity has strengths and weaknesses. Men should be the leaders during the courtship process and should also keep dating alive during marriage. It actually seems like women have taken up more of the leadership role in recent years, and men have checked out. There are too many fatherless children out there because the man refused to be a responsible leader. But in some areas—and I can only speakfor myself—it has gone TOO FAR! Call me traditional, but I need the guy to make the first move. I have a similar story to Moni and at 34 was just waiting to do fun things with Mr Right — whenever he turned up!? He believed their travel stories and living different lives gave them things to share. I had been waiting to hopefully travel w. I was single then, and still am now 36 — so neither doing it all, or not doing it all makes you standout. Thx for great article Kris Really, she was supposed to do all that with someone else? So if there was no man around to do it with, she was supposed to sit around and do nothing? She should not experience personal growth unless she is with a man??? Moni, good for you for not waiting around for a man to build your amazing life! I was that woman, not wanting to be the aggressor as I see most women can be. By being patient being active in pursuit of purpose while waiting with anticipation and waiting on God, at 32 I got married. Many guys said I was intimidating because of my accomplishments, but at the end of the day, none of that matters. I love that my husband leads me. It is ok to have someone providing you with strength and security as he allows God to lead him. I take myrole as a woman. That is also strength. Someone has to be nurturing and soft, tender and sweet. I love that because when I was single it was seen as weakness. I believe marriage is a partnership, but first it is a covenant with God. This article was great. It gives some really good insights to us professional women about the whole male-female relationship arena. I totally agree with you about not chasing a man or taking the lead in a relationship. Honey, may God surprise you with a man who exceeds all you can ask or imagine. He did it for me. In many ways, my eyes have been distorted on what it means to be a father and a husband, let alone a man. I got a good financial outlook, but not emotional outlook. That was all from mom. Men need to take more of an initiative to teach my generation specifically what it means to be a father, husband, and leader. This one and all others mentions that something is wrong with HER if she is not! If a woman was abused as a child, a healthy woman does not need to be around her family. Healthy adults know when to walk away and take care of their emotional needs apart from abuse, so as not to marry into it again. Men, please consider that some women have great qualities and actually do not repeat behavior, but learn from it, move on, and become great members of society as well as wives and mothers. Kaya as a woman, I understand your amazement at the pretentiousness of a comment such as that. The statistics metioned below, might I add not properly cited are just what they are: statistics. There are plenty of statistics that indicate whatever the interpreter wants. The point to be made is that like in all relationships, marriage material requires a give and take. You must give something to receive something. Give your love, respect, time, devotion and you should have the same reciprocated. A dog would be more suited for your tastes. I will, however, mention that every individual is different and finds different values important. Just coming from a women who believes in equality in every sense of the word I apologize for not citing statistics. The National Fatherhood Initiative states 1 in 3 children have no biological father at home. In many cases women trapped an unknowing target into a child and he was not provided an opportunity to be an at home father. That does not mean that they should be some evil tyrant or that they know every single thing, because honestly no human being does. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body. The Bible was written during a time when a woman culturally needed the protection and provision of a man… because she was denied the right to education, vocation, positions of authority, etc. This letter to the church of the Ephesians was to remind men that they must love and keep their wives, and that wives, even if they only married due to arranged marriages or out of duty to family, should participate in the marriage state and allow the husband to fulfill his traditional role. Being the leader of the family is often taken from scripture, Ephesians 5:22-33. In short, the husband is the head, as Christ is the head of the Church. But, it points out that Christ died for the Church and a man should be the leader willing to do the same for his bride, loving her as much as Christ loved the Church. It is really no different than a CEO being responsible for the overall bottom line of the company, regardless of whether he is the one in charge of every single operation. Someone has to be held accountable for the end result of profits or losses. But, a good leader never makes one feel subordinate, because he knows he cannot make decisions alone. You truly have the most correct perspective when it comes to relationships. I am almost 70 years old, Mother of three, Grandmother of 5 ,Foster Grandmother of 26, Great Grandmother of 3 and Foster Great Grandmother of 6 and have discovered many valuable truths. What a relief huh? Both partners must come to discover, as their world and the world changes and grows, what they together find is best. Sharing a deep appreciation for each other is the cement that will keep the relationship and family vibrant. By the way, appreciation also gives your children confidence, Equality does not simply imply that we share the same gender-given roles. Unless, of course, you believe that men are designed and naturally capable of giving birth. Or that women deep down secretly hate having a man protect, nurture, care, and lead them. Or to an even greater degree of shame, the man being so lazy he expects his wife to do provide for everything. Or that instead of using and developing his natural God given strength, he would rather not fight to protect anything. So yes, completely equal in value and worth, but not in terms of roles and responsibilities. There is a difference, Kaya. Cultural gender roles can be altered or changed through the value systems accepted by society. Biological gender traits, including hormonal levels and ability to give birth, are determined by nature. These two things should not be compared or one used to validate the other. Or has He spoken, and will He not make good? If He made Adam and Eve in His image and that system of partnership worked for them, why would it suddenly not work nowadays just because some women have become empowered and stubborn enough to think that they are now capable of ruling the world by themselves? Culture has taken it upon itself to determine what is wrong and right, but that does not mean that those standards are always correct. Wow you said it perfectly! You can build a skyscraper I say haha. Instead of preparing youg women to learn how be attractive in a feminine beautful way, we are told to go to college to make a money to ALWAYS support our selves. And you know what happens to these girls, they end up with men who take advantage of them. The women support the men, because these are the only men who will go with them. Now every one misses their blessings. This is how God originally designed it. For this reason and other ones on the line of this I am still single at 28. Anyway I just hope that God can restore the years the locusts have eaten away… Well He will, because He loves and has given me enough insight to break the dark strongholds of this wicked generation. I am college educated and I lived on my own before meeting my husband. Having a marriage has NOT made me a homemaker where I just sit back and allow my husband to support the household financially by himself and I also would NEVER want that. Having a marriage HAS given me a wonderful supportive partner though, one who is genuinely proud of my success, one who shares world travels with me and he is one who I can share my heart with. Marriage is a partnership, it is NOT a cookie cuter role that you seem to believe it is. As a woman who has been devoted and equally loved back I know marriage is NOT something that can be labeled or should be labeled. Anywhere for things to work out properly, there must be a final decision maker not decision makers. For those who believe in God, His Word provide the guidelines on how to live life successfully even in marriage, read 1 Cor 11:3 and Ephesians 5:22. This is not a religious thing and this has nothing to do with those who abuse this mandate. We love our wives unconditionally, we are partners in marriage, we consult each other on everything and God supplies us with the wisdom to lead the family. Men are supposed to take the lead. Tho there is an equal partnership in the relationship, Men have the responsibility to lead their wives as Christ is leading them. Not as slaves but as an example that they respect God, and the husband they choose, considering that they trust that this was the Godly man they trust to follow. This is the way God designed marriage. I love it, id rather have a husband who leads the marriage because i believe Gods given guys a strength that outweighs the strength hes given us as women. Of course its a partnership, think of it like the male as the principal, n the female is the deputy principal. This is a loving, sacrificial, selfless, involved type of leadership. Of course we as women have our role to play as the church and obviously any man is not perfect as Christ is and will probably benefit at times from the selfless love and leadership of his wife. The way things are set up when there is a disagreement that can not be resolved. The husband is to be the leader and the wife is to submit. It is to be in the model of Jesus Christ. Jesus was the leader yet he washed his disciples feet. He lead but also gave his life in service. Also consider leadership in the workplace. The employee comes to the manager and says Sir or Maam I have this problem. The employee then trusts the manager to take care of the problem and resolve it. In this way the manager though they have power serves the employees underneath them. A husband is also to love his wife. If he is doing this correctly he will take into consideration his wife. What her needs and desires are in the relationship and in the given situation. It can be reached through discussion… in some cases maybe not. If he does this correctly she can feel secure in the decision that he makes. This is the theory behind it… putting it in practice is much harder than just knowing it. God Bless Kaya, you have stumbled into a blog that upholds the principles of Christianity. Yes, the husband is the leader according to the teachings of the New Testament. Husbands are not to be dictators. They are equal in value as human beings. They are equally loved by God. They may even be equal in some skills and abilities. Are apples inherently better than oranges? They are better in some ways, and not in other ways. But my husband killed the snakes and spiders. I was more adept in certain arenas and even publically I handled those but privately and in big decisions he lead but never without wanting and needing my cooperation. Women are more emotional and men more logical in general and emotionally charged impulsive decisions can be unwise. I would pick up every stray cat dig and human…my husband would say how are we going to feed them. Lol I really like this post. I feel that men should be a part of the equation, but I do believe in equal partnership. Both parties have to agree to make a relationship work or there will be hostility if one person is calling the shots all the time, whether it is a man or a women. In many home situations with the rise of feminism, males are not empowered when there is a female in the situation. Females are empowered and at the males expense. Your not going to get a lot of positive attention for being a dominant male in a relationship in a female. Both partners should make decisions which benefit the household and each other. Being a leader involves setting a good example, taking responsibility for the well-being of your family spiritually, emotionally, and physically , and protecting those that you care for both emotionally and physically. Biblically God calls men to be leaders in the family, but we are seeing fewer and fewer men assume this responsibility. Hello Rebakah, the initial plan of God, the CEO of marital institution is for the man to assume a leading role in the family. The fact that men are not living up to their expectations does not change that fact. Marriage is not an equal partnership institution and should not be. There is a special grace on men to be leaders in their homes if they chose to be leaders. Women have a different grace that men do not have. The bible says that women should submit to their husbands because husbands are leaders and the head of the family and husbands should Love their wives. The reason why marriages do not work like it used to is because the women have started playing the roles of men which is due to the fact that men are not taking up their responsibilities any longer. If u r married and you want the blessings of God for you and for your husband, all you have to do is to obey the biblical injunction but you can also choose to go in the way of the world. I wonder when the rest of us will start learning from the Jews. My father is a rabbi and has taught us the difference between dominant behavior what he calls protective and simineering behavior what he calls abusive. My mother works outside our home and they make all decisions together. Good on you Ola. The wisdom of God and His word is our greatest instruction. We understand its value and meaning and though the people of this world criticise the way we walk, calling it primitive, religious and outdated etc, even in the church we can find this way of thinking , we will not depart from it for it is the truth. As we apply His word to our lives and marriages etc, we can hope for good fruit to be produced. We obediently sow His word as the seed of God in faith and can watch with expectation as it grows and brings forth fruit. The fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness and Temperence KJV. The Proverb I stated above makes me think of the many people who run their own lives based on their own wisdom or the wisdom of this world and when things dont go the way they like, or when things fall apart they often shake their fists unto God blaming Him as though it was His fault. The examples we see of men ruling over their wives from the past is often misleading and its this way of leadership most people object too including myself. A man of God is lead by His Word and His Spirit and domination, intimidation and manipulation are not His ways. In my beliefs more women are dominating, intimidating and manipulating today and the man is stepping back. This is typical Jezebel and Ahab stuff. This is witchcraft at its finest, ruining and destroying everything it touches. I hope and pray that the christian homes, husbands and wives, will wake up to these stratagies of the wicked one and bring their homes into the correction and subjection of God and His word. The man needs once again to be the man and woman to be the woman, and together they must stand united. Under the authority of Christ Yeshua aka Jesus and by the power of His Holy Spirit we must cast out of our homes, out of our marriage the wicked lies of this world and expose them for what they are. When we can be free of its deceptions we then can help others see and be free aswell. Well, Im all fired up now and ready to pray. God Bless you Ola and God bless everyone who read this post. Rebekah, I am a God fearing and loving man, husband and father. I love God and His word and each day I seek to apply it to my life and circumstances as best I can and with the help of the Holy Spirit. A partnership requires more than one and this is not the scriptural basis for the unity of a husband and wife relationship in the eyes of God. As they are covenanted to one another before God, they are accountable to both themselves and to God. The work of the devil will try to destroy anything that God has blessed and one of his greatest targets is marriages. You have to understand that a marriage cannot be strengthened with worldly wisdom but with the wisdom of God. This is serious stuff. Likewise a man of God should seek to find a Godly woman. One who will help him and support him in every way as he makes a stand for God and His ways in this present age. This mostly has to do with authority in both the spiritual and natural realm. I hope this helps. God Bless Very well articulated, David. The responsibility God gives men is not something I want to compete for. It is completely sacrificial and requires great strength. The head of the family will be highly accountable to God. When women fully understand this, they are happy to step into their God-given role. God bless the strong, capable men who love and shepherd their families. But tragically when I want to date again it comes back. And men hate it too. I am a woman and I believe that there is truth to men taking the leadership role in the family household, Wayne summarized my sentiments perfectly. We as women need to pray for the right man to take that role in our lives, 1 who is loyal, trustworthy, relies on the word of God, etc…etc. Is there a reason you took another route? But, I suppose they can go grab a Bible, huh? My hope is they will look them up! Conversely, I admire that you used inspiration from your faith to produce a concise list in your own words, instead of those from scripture. Many young men and even some older folk find it difficult to put words of faith into practice, so it certainly helps them to have you lay out advice in plain English. As Lyd said, men should most certainly seek wisdom, but they must also be prepared to pursue action based in wisdom. My wife passed away two years ago. Am not really actively seeking another partner because my daughter and her husband plus my two-year old grand daughter live with me. I find this article very helpful and eyeopening. I will try to spread it out to the younger generations that I know. Great read — so true. Thanks very much Kris. God says that women serve our husbands like Christ served the church and for men to love their wives like Christ loved the church. It works hand in hand. Some these days are too narrow-sided to see the bigger and biblical reasoning. I believe it is innate for a woman to want a man to lead. No you should not walk ten steps behind him but let him be a man. You should be partners, in that both of you are equally valued in the relationship, which should be symbiotic. But the man is and should be the leader of the household, he is king and you are queen. I have also heard that a man can not reach his full potential without his wife. We all have something to give but we give it in different ways. While the intentions of this article are great, I have to disagree with most of it. While I strongly believe that we should be equally yoked in relationships, I cannot help but notice that you are not just looking for a perfect wife. You are looking for a perfect individual. Heads up, those do not exist. Have a little grace friend. Marriage takes a whole lot of it. Thank you Sara for your comment. I understand your feelings. It sounds like you like the intentions of the article, but the expectations are too high? I purposely made these qualities and not expectations. No one is perfect. The intention of the article is exactly as you believe it to be: for guys to look beyond the surface to the character. What a fabulous article. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that men and women for that matter make marital decisions based on characteristics fit for a one night stand. I agree with all of these quailities, they are needed in a partner, male or female; however, number 9 is a little biased. It does mean, however that you should probably postpone marriage or a serious relationship until your financial situation improves. You will be bringing financial burden to your partner if you get married without taking charge of your finances, and it will be harder to slow down a serious relationship that starts to soon. I just wanted to say that when I got married 17 years ago next week , I was not the woman mentioned on the Husband List, maybe some aspects, but not others. Neither was my husband the man mentioned on this list. We were very flawed people who had come from painful pasts. But by the grace of God he and I threw ourselves at the cross and let God change us and make us who we should be. Many mistakes were made along the way, and there were many nights when things seemed beyond hopeless. But God was faithful and we were committed. I am so thankful that neither of us gave up, because if we had we would have missed out on seeing God do a miracle right in front of our eyes. I would have also missed out on forever being with my best friend and the only one in this world who really understands me. Not everything starts perfect, but God has this thing for the underdog. He uses foolishness to shame the wise, and requires you to lose your life to gain it. He likes calling people who have no hope but Him. So if your marriage needs a miracle, you are in the perfect spot to get one. The 2 become one but the man is the head. Does the hand lead the head? No, the head leafs the hand. Does the Head want to crush and destroy the hand though? No because that would hurt them both. These are qualities ladies look for in a guys as well. It is BOTH of your lives together. Not saying that the article was implying any of this, I just wanted to give a point. Those are rarely taught to the young women anymore. As to all of the people clamoring about EQUALITY… May I point out a few things? Women who are yelling about equality, dose that mean you want to be equally responsible for what happens in you home as your husband is when you have to give an accounting to God? Yes, you will be held accountable for what you do, but your husband will be held accountable for the WHOLE families actions whether good or bad. Secondly, If people started waiting on the Lord to bring them their mate, there would be a lot less heart ache and divorce in the world. God will literally put you in situations where you MUST trust your guy. Why not you ask? Let me tell you sweethearts, I did EVERYTHING the wrong way for my first marriage, and because it was all about me and what I wanted when I wanted it, the Lord painfully and mercifully let it fall apart. Plus I was determined NEVER to get married again much less have kids. And during that growth in my life, God was making my husband stronger and much more patient so he could deal with my feisty self. I KNOW where God guides, He provides. And life is so much sweeter and more peaceful because I am trusting Him to show us grace in our human frailties. Who am I to show my husband, my brother in Christ, any less grace the God showed me? I enjoyed reading this article. It really zeroed in what kind of husband I would want to be. I notice a lot of questions from both men and women here that is addressed or touched up on in his message. Give it a shot guys. Thanks for writing this very helpful to a lot of people….. I know that I am not in the norm and its not as easy for some as it was for me. Why I say that is I met and married my soul-mate at 19 he was everything I wanted in a husband and father! So with saying that I thank God He was totally in this whole thing or it might have went south for me lol! Puzzled he said okay??? I have a list its not long and I am not looking for a boyfriend im dating for my future husband! I want to know if you are on the same page I want three kids! I want to be a stay at home mom! I want to be best friends with my hubby! Are you a Christian! Well thank goodness he said yes or agreed with everything on that list! I am sure lots of guys would have ran but I think its so important to be upfront and bold because this is your future I did not want to spend it like my mother miserable and taking it out on everyone else. My hubby even took that nasty baggage I brought in but he carefully unpacked it and washed it up and put it away Thank GOD!! So I have found my other half in this world and its a honor especially since I was 19 and he was 23! We are still happily married 12 years and three kids with one more possibly lol! I hope this gives some hope today that its not about a feeling you get! Its about do you want the same goals in life that includes this list believe me its important I could not imagine having a hubby that did not believe what heartbreak that would bring and confusion and constant struggle! I am all for women having equal rights and being independent. However, in a relationship whether you like it or not the man has to lead. He has to be an inspiration to you and his children. Lead his family to Christ and make key decisiond when he needs to as the head of the family regarding key issues. I agree to the extent that a woman could be a negative influence on a man. Someone in my own family decided to marry a total self-centered princess, and he is definitely changed for the worse. Does being with her make you question your spiritual or moral standing because hers might be stronger than yours? And is it rubbing you the wrong way? Just my two cents. One woman makes you anxious and edgy. Another one makes you rested and confident. The one who makes me calmer… makes me a better man. Of course there is that thing about a woman cleaning up a drunk and probably that is what is upsetting you. I so agree with this article and especially the husband list too. When I married, I was not a Christian and neither was my husband. He also abdicated his role as the head of the household many years ago because he felt that decisions he made could be contrary to my beliefs. And so for many years, I have made the majority of the choices in our marriage, including in the raising of our children, because he has chosen not to participate. I feel that I have wasted so much of my life with the wrong person and now that we are empty nesters, it is very difficult to maintain the relationship. Well God did say it is no good for a man to be Alone which i will certainly agree on that, especially when i see so many other men that have been very blessed by God to have met a good woman to settle down with. And many of them have a Family as well, just like many of us that would had wanted the same thing too. Why would God bless certain men and women to find Love And Happiness together, and not many of us? That i will never ever understand which i am sure that many of you will agree with me as well. You have to find your spouse attractive. And they often ignore him unless they need a favor. Thanks for your reply! Wow this is really good and so are the post a lot of you have written. This is for women as well. This is honestly what women want in men also. What I want especially Im a mother of two I have two small boys and the thing about 1-in 3 of every child lives in a broken home. If we would all Put the Lord first our situations would be a lot better. A sexually fulfilling marriage is of upmost importance to the majority of men. I was raised in Church my whole life, followed God and have done the right things, but what I have found is that, like paul, it is all filthy rags before God, and if you are going to make a list like this that I have to live up to I can guarantee that one day I wont live up to it… I wont be able to make you happy… To be perfectly honest there is no woman in existence who can fulfill this list… only Jesus could… And if you are going to make a list about how the other person should fulfill your needs and what they should be then you: 1. By focusing on how much God loves us and what he has done for us. We love because he first loved us. Sometimes we need to take an illustration as just that. He made some great points. Chew the meat and spit out the bones. Take it from one who has been in both good and bad relationships — the person we pick matters a great deal. Instead of criticizing this post, we should be celebrating the fact that Kris has found an incredible woman and is trying to help single guys out there do the same. I also have an incredible wife and going down the list, I am grateful to say that she fulfills, beyond my wildest dreams, each and every one of the ten points. Most of the articles on this site already deal with becoming a better man through counseling, through accountability groups, through mentors, etc. The purpose is clearly stated at the beginning: guys should be looking for qualities beyond appearance. Nice articles but seen all this before! None of this works! Tried it all before! Prayed for 30 years for God to help me find a wife. Tried making a list. Tried letting go and letting God. In all that time-nothing! No response at all! Maybe I just asked something too hard to do?? Honestly, dont be discouraged. God has a plan for your life. I know plenty of awesome, Christian girls who look for one thing:a man who loves the Lord. Just trust God, keep him first in your life and he will send you a wife. He wants what is best for your life…and if that is marriage, then so be it, if that is what will make you happy. What you want in your future wife: hard-working, patient, kind, whatever it is, be THAT first. Too many times we look for an angel when we ourselves are nothing close to that. May God bless you in your search for a god-fearing wife—that is, if you are god-fearing too. I am not sure a good guy claims to be a leader of a woman? Simply put, a good guy goes for his equal, a good guy is as willing and recognises it is as much his responsibility to be a stay home parent and home maker as his partner, that there are no gender roles. That he has no more right to chase looks as a woman has………… as I hear so much about the evil of women looking for a hot guy when guys are constantly conditioned to chase women based on their looks…….. So for me, good guy is an equal partner, still a man, but nope, definitely not a leader. So not sure if this is a good guy code personally. Who wants to be with someone they find repulsive? Who wants to start off a marriage in crazy debt? Men and women are equal as people and before God. The men who try to twist that into something else are liars. This comes from a pastor btw. That said, that would be a pretty rare exception. Thank you for complimenting the headline at least Laura. Writing the headline is the toughest part for me believe it or not! As far as the content is concerned, it is purposefully simple. This site is geared towards younger men, and is meant to point them to look beyond appearance. I believe the article has garnered so much attention 2 million views in one month because it, in fact, is not based on personal opinion. Read it beside Proverbs 31 and notice the correlations. Keep it simple people! Kris THANK YOU for a well thought out list. So for all your readers commenting about their current marriages not meeting the list, this is NOT meant for you! I really enjoyed this article! My fiancé actually helped lead me back to Christ and because of this we have an even stronger connection. I was already being pulled by the Holy Spirit for awhile but I know god used him to really open my eyes as to what was going on. There was even a time where we broke up because he felt I could do more spiritual growing without him. That was awhile ago and we are currently about to start our premarital counseling. Sadly, men seem to be focused on the physical, and for those of us who get the short end of the stick in that area are generally passed over for the Carrie Underwoods and Jennifer Lawrences of the world. No matter how beautiful I am on the inside will never attract a man to my outside. I had a girlfriend who I broke up with about 3 weeks ago. These are common sense statements. People should focus on growing internally and giving. There are variables to everything. Blogs are others opinions. Great life to all…. These are not common sense statements. This is a war against women and women are brainwashed by it. These man exalting statements are spread by people who do not love and respect women.. This kind of talk is spread all over the internet and it hurts women, but women are so stupid and naive and actually join in and defend this suff. Women will not even support our own gender. This is not the way a man and a woman should relate to each other. The woman is not supposed to do all the work in the relationship. It ought to be a law against allowing anti woman articles telling poor women to remake themselves for a silly man who is only human. He will still mistreat, use and abuse a woman. Young females who are reading on this page, and old women who ought to know better, should wake up and get some sense. This article is a bunch of anti woman propoganda that poisons young people who are watching what the rest of us are saying and doing This is part of what is meant by a man-made doctrine. Men are trying to completely rewrite life and relationships to fit it for them, so that women are reduced to nothing. Do you females who are reading this get it yet? Are you common sense enough to see what is going on? It is not worth it, for a woman, to get in to a relationship with a man. Just stay single and take care of yourself. Women lose out too much when they fall for a man. These days men are getting worse, what with all these man made rules, that some gullible brainwashed women and selfish men write. It is oh so sad. SEX and MONEY are the two main issues that often destroy marriages. You covered finances, in your list of 10, but you did not include anything about intimacy. She should be comfortable with her own body, not hating it, and able and willing to give her body to her husband for his pleasure. Mike You have got to be kidding and I hope that women will read my comment and not let you damage their way of thinking, which is total chauvenism. You cannot disenfemminate women like that. What do you expect? Do men get comfortable with their hair loss and receding hairlines when they start to go bald? Or how do you like it when your penis cannot stay erect? Are you comfortable with your body then? How did you even come up with that ridiculous criticism? You see that was a low blow and an unfair statement about a woman being comfortable with her body. Some cases could be as a result of serious issues, such as her dad, who is a man, molesting her at age 14. So you need to think before you criticize women for not wanting to expose her naked body to men all the time. That has not a darn thing to do with being comfrtable with. Women ARE NOT wired like you all. Sex is not a big deal for us. I feel sorry for women you date or marry, because it seems like you put all the blame on the woman. Well, typical man it seem. Life is not about you all!! Hi, my partner has all the qualities listed as I have exhausted my search for the right man in my life. And I know him to be the one for me for I have prayed to god my whole life for a man like him. And god has finally answered my prayers. For that which I have no doubt. My question is for my particular situation, who should take the standard male lead, considering we are both male. Both I and my partner are committed to each other fully and both want to do right by God. We have prayed for an answer but have yet to receive a reply. Please help Hi James, sorry for the delayed response. I just saw your comment. I went to a Tony Robbins conference once and Tony said for a relationship to work out, one person has to take the more submissive feminine role and one person must take the masculine role even in a homosexual relationship. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. I grew up fast at a young age, had no choice. I was naturally by the grace of God just mature and knew better. Which left myself becoming my parents parents. One of 6 most sibblings in and out of jail, alcoholics, no motivation in life. I have unconditional love for people mostly the wrong ones. I bought my bf family all gifts for Xmas and sent my family 5 boxes of presents! But what does that make me? Not worthy of a great Husband? I care about others, sometimes more than myself…… …. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. If he had he would be very careful to say those words. Many persons from healthy families cannot imagine a world where someone feels like tossing their parents to pluto…. Well its all random and the cards that life deals humanity. I think this is a decent list…for both sexes. This should apply to ANY partner you are looking at, not just a girlfriend. No, they SHOULD not. What SHOULD happen is an equal relationship, and if both partners agree on someone to lead, then let it be mutually decided and not defined by sex. Leadership implies that the leader has more responsibilities than the follower. If she depends on you, I can get why you would be the leader. There was noting implying that the woman would have more responsibilities. It is he who can usually keep from getting wrapped up in whatever emotions are prevalent at that time. It is he who, when wise, sees the big picture and is able to let his wife rest and concentrate on the finer points of their lives. Healthy women who are in touch with their femininity will tell you they want a man in whom they can depend on and find security and comfort. Those are qualities a leading man can offer. Two leaders will butt heads. No leaders will wallow in confusion. A female leader will usually get wrapped up in inconsequential details and follow her emotions wherever they lead her. A good male leader is the best way to go as he can replace her emotions with sound reason. My fiancee and I are both oldest children. We both have pretty good leadership skills and are very responsible. All decisions are made together. Sometimes she gives in and sometimes I have to give in. Some women want an egalitarian marriage where everything is equal and some women a minority nowadays want a complementarian marriage where the husband is the head of the household. And when you try to tarnish women just because they want equality, it gives Christianity a bad name and makes people want to run as far away from religion as possible. Being a healthy woman has everything to do with practicing the biblical idea of submission. A wife who has good leadership skills can be a very good wife when she uses them to help the family. That is a position of great responsibility and love. Instead of trying to paint Christianity with a feminist brush so people will stick around, it would be better to let it be true to its own tenants and let those who believe it to be true to continue to practice it accordingly. Being a healthy woman has everything to do with practicing the biblical idea of submission. A wife who has good leadership skills can be a very good wife when she uses them to help the family. That is a position of great responsibility and love. Instead of trying to paint Christianity with a feminist brush so people will stick around, it would be better to let it be true to its own tenants and let those who believe it to be true to continue to practice it accordingly. As a husband who has been a pretty poor leader in the past, I see why Kris is listing this as a important component of being a good husband. Following a strong and wise leader is a comfort and a privilege, not a slight, and being a leader is a heavy and difficult responsibility. A bad husband in a Christian marriage might lord his leadership status over his wife, but only if he has no idea what Christian leadership is really all about. I think people need to have a better understanding of what it means to be a follower. A follower is not a slave. In fact, I believe a follower is just as powerful as the leader. Look at it this way, the Vice President- of a country, company or club- is in a unique position to advise the President. A wise President will have chosen a VP whose is just — or more- educated as they are, who can be counted on in tough situations, and whose council they can trust, because that will ideally be the first person they turn to for advice while making a decision. Add in the romantic aspect, and I think that is the most functional example of a marriage that I can think of. Woman, this is a Mans article for us by us for. I find this article helpful because as the head of the household the man wants to make sure that the woman does not need to worry, and even when she does we make sure we are handling business to make sure she is ok, and we do not boast when we do this. Please excuse my fellow typical female making the rest of us look bad. Thank you for that Cindel. But the sad truth is that pretty-much anything that dares to discuss the needs and desires of men will be met with outrage by many women. Most of it advocates and even celebrates double-standards that any rational, decent adult would see as unfair, and nobody sees a problem with any of it until someone starts talking about what men need and how they should be treated. Well, guess what ladies? This article gives excellent advice, although a woman that excels in all of these areas most likely does not exist. It is all about Character, that is, Inner Beauty as well as the physical. I asked them to make a list of qualities they seek in woman. So I began to wonder why. And I think I figured it out…just ten years ago pornography was an embarrassment. A shame if people knew you looked at it even though a huge percentage of both men and woman view it at will at least once In their lifetime. After doing some research I found that porn producers make up to 4 times more money if the main character in their clip is a white blonde female with at least a C cup breast. So they put that image out the most…. Every single one of my guys say they have all viewed porn and most of them before the age of 10. I first viewed porn when I was six. I once had this view of woman too. Thank God I opened my eyes to reality before it was too late. We are now both sober of all porn for over a year now in dedication for each other and our future for each other, but now that we have had that sexual bond together its soo hard for me to step up and say no, we arnt going to do this until we are married. Thank you for putting this article up! They say opposites attract but not in the case of finding a good woman. A good woman wants a better man. I read your whole article, and I agree with your list. I was honestly really upset by reading the comment about breast size. Women can die their hair blonde, exercise and wear makeup, but apart from surgically altering the way God created us, breast size is out of our hands. And believe me, women born with naturally smaller breasts, are made self conscious about it enough by the world daily. I feel like if you want to honour the women reading this article to try to find out what traits they should work on, you could change the first paragraph to say most guys lists consist of physical characteristics of their preference. Every human has some part of them they dont like. We want a person who can overlook it dont we? If am over weight i want a woman who sees beyong my weight. If am black i want a person who is not a relative of klu clux clan. Point is look for a person who appreciates you the way you are. Marriage is the beautiful thing in which both couples contribute and have fun. Being a good wife is not easy, even if you have a near-perfect husband. As a man who has been happily married for over 20 years, the 10 qualities listed here are spot on. Even if you find a woman who has these qualities, marriage will be challenging at times. With a lesser woman, it will be almost impossible. While trust is the foundation of a good marriage, blind trust is bad. Be accountable to each other. There are predators and players out there, and your wife needs to keep firm boundaries when dealing with the opposite sex, especially male coworkers, and ex-boyfriends. My good wife qualities are: 1. Would be a good mother 6. Presentable does not have to be more than average in appearance 8. Preferably from a good family back ground 10. Respectful Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers had the aforementioned qualities. They had long and happy marriages with my grandfathers. One on husbands, the other on wives. Both having to do with qualities valuable to both roles He calls folks to. Great list to use while evaluating potential mates, or even friends. Sharing the same faith as your future wife is important. Some readers of The Wife List have pointed out they found their true love and they are both atheists. I shared this list with a good friend and she mentioned that my criterias were high. Website ini sih dari majalah pria online, tetapi gue rasa hal ini menarik buat cewek-cewek karena judul artikelnya adalah The Wife List: 10 Qualities. With titles like The Wife List, Ten Non-Negotiables in a relationship, Boyfriend list, and so on and so on. Maybe you just want to know if you have the qualities to make a good wife. What kind of women are you attracted to? Have you written a Wife List? Maybe you made a wife list of qualities you want? Maybe you created a vision board? But how does she make you feel? He might even have a list The Girlfriend List, The Wife List. The internet is called the web for a reason. You can get snagged by a lot of distractions. So check out the complete Wife List here. However, make a list with long-term vision. Offering your Russian fiancee a financially demanding wedding ring over the initial day or meeting could be a misstep. It is often smart to present an initial promise ring developing a reduced value and exchange the idea for the real deal if ever the partnership is official or once she arrives in the USA. Well, this is certainly present between both of them.
Looking for a Spiritual Man to Marry - Advice for a single Christian woman
Those are qualities a leading man can offer. You have to find your spouse attractive. I look to my wife all the time for advice. Do men get comfortable with their hair loss and receding hairlines when they start to go bald. Neither was my husband the man mentioned on this list. I so agree with this article and especially the husband list too. Conversely, I admire that you used inspiration from your limbo to produce a concise list in your own words, instead of those from scripture. As Lyd said, men should most certainly seek wisdom, but they must also be prepared to pursue action based in wisdom.
